May 26:  Istanbul to New York to Los Angeles

Up 8:30am.  Left hotel 8:50am.  Saw Katie, Kent and Shirley in the lobby.  Then at the tram stop I saw them plus Michelle and Lee.  Hugged Shirley, hugged Michelle, shook Lee's hand.  A random guy selling tours near the token machine talked to me.  He has relatives in Boston and wants me to visit him in Istanbul next time I'm there.

On the tram 9:11am.  This is the way to go.  The taxi takes much longer and costs too much.  Arrived at the Zeytinburnu stop 9:42am.  Then the metro 9:48-10:02.  51 minutes to the airport.

At the airport I checked a Starbucks for mugs.  They didn't have them.  Sorry, Betty.  Then I ate at Popeye's for the 3rd time in my life, and the first time not in Hong Kong.

On the 11-hour IST-JFK flight I dozed off, then talked to Terri in the seat next to me.  She's on her way back to Boston with cousins.   She said I'm fit for 44, so I feel justified in changing my OkCupid body type from "average" to "fit".

We landed a bit early at JFK.  Immigration, bag, customs, rechecked bag.  Lunch at Shake Shack.  Just a burger with mayo.  I asked for bacon (many of us were craving it on this trip) but the chick forgot it.  This was the new Terminal 4 that opened 2 days ago so maybe she wasn't up to speed, or par, or snuff.

And speaking of Terminal 4, it sucks!  Barely any cell phone reception.  The "Free Public Wi-Fi" doesn't work.  And the whole terminal doesn't look new at all.  What was the point of Terminal 4?

Amid the bad cell phone reception I had to deal with an asshole Facebook friend tagging me in an iPad ad.  No time to delete/untag or defriend.  So now when people go to my Facebook page, instead of seeing cool stuff from my trip, they'll see that I have a mentally retarded Facebook friend.  He's the guy who was my chaperone in 1976 when he was in 8th grade and I was in 1st grade and we had a school trip to the Philadelphia Zoo.  I still have my elephant key.  Anyway, stop clicking on rogue apps and and installing them.  You weren't hacked and your password hasn't been stolen.  You're just a careless fucking dick.

The JFK-LAX crowd seemed much less adventurous and more irritating than the IST-JFK crowd.  Nary a looker on the plane besides me.

We flew right over Philadelphia and I saw Cardin Road!  :)  I lived half my life on that street.

The stewardess asked the people in the back row how much ice they wanted.  Then when she got to my row she just gave me a Coke with plenty of ice.  She was so perky and chipper!  She must be new.

What's the deal with people who pee on airplanes?  My thinking is, if you use an airplane toilet, your passport should get a stamp requiring you to wear a diaper on all flights for the next 10 years.  And a bonnet.  To show everyone that you're a fucking baby.  And you should have to hold a rattle, and shake it to alert the stewardesses that you just "made" in your diaper.

When we landed at LAX, I heard meowing.  Someone had a cat on board.  Perfect ending.  Lütfen bitches!