June 15:  Copenhagen to Los Angeles


My taxi arrived at 4:40am, and I was alerted to this by Shaun.  He, Bushy and Nancy (and possibly others) had not yet gone to bed and were still drinking.  The sun was up already.  So we had another mini-round of hugs before I fended them off and got in the taxi.

On the flight from Paris to LA, the flight attendant's chiseled features and pompous aura reminded me of none other than WWE Superstar Rene Dupree, the hated Frenchman (pardon the redundancy).

Lunch was possibly the best airplane meal ever:  salmon, chicken and shrimp.  The French ladies next to me didn't speak a word of English, but they gave me most of their wine, and I had the total equivalent of 4 glasses.  That wasn't enough to get me to speak French.  One of them tried to ask me how to recline her seat--at first I thought she needed to get up, but she pointed to my reclined seat and said "comme vous", so I figured it out and showed her how to press the fricking button.  Stupid French whore.

At customs at LAX, the agent corralling everyone barely spoke English.  In contrast, the Air France agent in Copenhagen--where Danish is the local and official language, mind you--spoke English with almost no accent, and was pretty cool.  If I had to guess who the American was, I'd go with the Dane.  When did the US become such an illiterate shithole?  Or is it just that Mexico's a shithole that doesn't teach its residents English from birth?

I thought about taking SuperShuttle home to spare myself the shock, but instead I took the roundabout trip on the Metro to observe all the reproductive mistakes that rely on it.  I was really impressed because I didn't see one attractive person until I got on the Red Line downtown near the end of the almost 2-hour journey.  I don't mean in comparison to the Scandi girls, and there were no borderline cases--every person I saw on the LAX shuttle, the Green Line and the Blue Line was objectively and unquestionably ugly.  Finally on the Red Line there was a girl standing across the way who was kind of cute and had some healthy jugs hanging out, but ironically she looked European.  What happened to that all-American girl that's the epitome of Southern California?  I know she doesn't use public transportation, but still.

Final weight = 155.5 lb.  [Followup:  On June 18 I was at 154, for an 8-lb loss since May 25.  I'll probably start gaining again once I return to work on Monday and hang around all those fat ugly Americans.  Yeah, you there.]


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