May 22:  Amazon jungle

Up at 4am, fully rested.  Asleep again after that.  I missed my 5:30am alarm, probably because I covered my ear to shut out the snoring from that defective cunt in 125-A.  Woke up 5:47am and rushed down for a 6am breakfast with Ronald.  Somewhere in that sleep period I had a dream that Stevie Wonder killed a guy, and I was scrambling to come up with jokes about it.

I see a little silhouetto of a coati.

This parrot was pretty cool.  He tended to hang out on top of the arch near the dining room and bar.

At 7:45am we got on the boat and headed up the river.

Capybara on the riverbank.  I saw these things at the Buenos Aires zoo, but never in the wild before.

The world's largest rodent.

I would totally hit that.

We disembarked and trekked through the jungle.

Penis tree.  Ronald touched a couple of the penises and got some "semen" on his fingers, and said the substance makes you strong.  I asked, what if I'm already strong?  He had no answer.

Chicken tarantula.  That's what it's called.

I didn't get a pic but we saw some saddleback tamarin monkeys in the trees.  That's what you'd get if you bred my 1993-1994 Midvale roommates with each other.  Jim and Ryan from Saddleback College, and Timothy Princeton White being a tamarin monkey.  As Brutus said earlier, it not racist if it true.  He owes me $2328.  What a purely evil person.  Also saw wild pig tracks, and a hole dug by an armadillo.  From one of those cool book-and-record books that came with a portable player that latched onto the book:

"A...who are you?  Do you start with an A?"
"I certainly do.  It's your lucky day.  A is for armadillo, that's who."
"But what does an armadillo do?"
"An armadillo dresses in armor.  I'm a terrible pest to every farmer.  I run around digging holes in the ground.  That's how I play.  And I start with an A."

We reached an oxbow lake.  I hoped that this excursion would be incident-free.  Got into a canoe, rowed by Ronald.  A bunch of giant bugs buzzed around me.  Ronald said "welcome to the jungle."  Really?  I already made a couple G N' R references.  Way too late.

Hoatzin, or stinkbird.  These things are weird.  They make a raspy throaty breathy sound.



Bats under a log.  Again, a repeat of Costa Rica.  I should have gone to Bolivia instead of this.

Aw.  This guy was in the canoe for a while.

Ronald said there are anacondas, stingrays, electric eels and piranhas in the lake.  Also, that fish that swims up your urethra.  It's real.

On the other side of the lake we got out for a brief hike.

Strangler fig.  This "tree" is a parasite and starts off as vines that strangle a host tree, which in this case died long ago.  This totally reminds of my Eiffel Tower pic.

Elephant tree.  These two sections look like mother and baby elephants.  Rumour has it that if you walk around the tree counterclockwise 3 times, you'll get lucky in health, money or love.  I have too much of the first two, so I picked love.  Afterward, Ronald said the spell takes 3-4 months to work.  Well, that's ill-timed.  Nevermind, I'll do it on my own.  Don't care how, I want it now.  I linked to that just so we can all enjoy some 13-year-old pre-boobs.

Elephant tree.

Back in the canoe, we fed crackers to piranhas.  Mostly sardines, but some yellow-bellied piranhas. 

Stink birds again.  Not attractive at all.

We went back the way we came, though on a different trail from the canoe to the boat.  Nothing noteworthy.  Returned to the lodge at 11am.  Took off my ever-filthy jeans, rested, and wrote this.

My calves are still sore 4 days after the 1100-m downhill hike.  That was a good hike.

Lunch 1pm.

A saddleback tamarin near the dining room.


That parrot again.

Ronald offered me 3 options for the afternoon:  visit to a farm, swimming hole, or siesta.  Siesta.  I rested in my bungalow (which was well-appointed, in the sense that I did not need TP for my bungalow) 2:15pm-6pm.  I was a asleep for a portion of that interval but there were Russians nearby.  Russians are loud.  Again, it not racist if it true.  Discovered a mosquito bite on my right cheek.  I protected myself well, but didn't put bug spray on the top of my face so it wouldn't run into my orifices, and that's where they got me.  That bite is where all begins.  Like the girl who got flesh-eating bacteria from the zipline wound.  That is the horriblest story ever.  And yes, the fact that she's hot DOES make it more tragic.

At 6:30pm Ronald told me all about alligators, crocs and a third similar family, and then about caymans, which are in the alligator family.

From 7pm to 8pm we took the boat up the river and back.  Spotted 5 caymans.  I did a lot of experimenting with camera settings and flashes.  Only these photos survived.




Ronald turned off his flashlight and we again meditated in the dark for a couple minutes.  It doesn't actually get pitch dark away from civilization.  There's enough starlight that you can at least see the treeline.  Ideally someone would have blasted "Do you know where you are?  You're in the jungle, baby.  You're gonna die." from the shore.  I envision these situations from an entertainment perspective.  Would have been cooler than saying "welcome to the jungle" in the canoe.  That was so lame!  I doubt he even knows the song.

Dinner 8pm-9pm.  Afterward I drank outside the bar till 11:30pm and went over these photos and notes.  No one else around.

My dying flashlight really was insufficient to get me back to my bungalow, so I used my iPad for illumination.  Finally, it's useful for something other than the Internet.  Bed 11:30pm.