May 20:  Krabi/Ao Nang to Penang

Up at 7:30am.  Left hotel at 8:10am.

The ride (which split the group into two minibuses) seemed shorted than 10 hours because we watched movies along the way--The Taking of Pelham 123 (excellent), Brüno (disturbing), and Team America (only part of it, but I'd seen it before).  The swingers scene in Brüno and the puppet sex in Team America gave me an hours-long boner.  Some of you may recall a standup bit I did about forgetting to do something while on vacation.  Yep, same problem this time.

A half hour from the border we stopped for lunch and then switched to another pair of minibuses.  Apparently the Malaysian government won't let Thai buses in.  We got out twice during the border crossing into Malaysia (country #42) and then continued on.  The new minibus had movies that weren't as good--From Paris With Love (which was dubbed into Thai or Chinese with horrible Engrish subtitles that weren't much better than just random words) and Redline--and I ignored them in favor of the iPod.  Desperado came on, which made me emotional for several reasons, as well as Relax, which was good timing because I was confined to the minibus and nowhere near the Malaysian prime minister.

At 6pm we arrived in George Town (Penang) at the Hotel Min Good, which is probably not affiliated with comedienne Dana Min Goodman, but it should be.

For dinner we went to a big food court where I had chicken "briyani" and a large Tiger beer.  Afterward while looking for a bar we found a place that had standup comedy.  Of course everyone got excited about me possibly getting on stage, but I wasn't prepared.  I would have been as uncomfortable up there as my audiences are when they hear me.

We found an Irish pub that was way too loud so we didn't stay long.  There was a drink special...I paid RM22 (US$7) for 2 caipiroskas, and the same for 2 Long Islands, except I didn't pay for those (not sure if I wasn't charged or if someone else I owe someone?).  But there was absolutely no alcohol in my drinks.  Although I'd been touting the Soho English pub, we ended up going back to the hotel and drinking there.  I tried the Internet around midnight but it was slow and I couldn't get to any pages, which sucked because I needed my American Idol results.  A bunch of us stayed up drinking in the lobby, having a UK-centric conversation that I wasn't really able to participate in.  Sleepy, I went to bed at 2am, and I heard the others retire shortly after that.  Due to the impotent drinks at the bar I was completely sober at bedtime, which was very bad because my room was also hot and I couldn't figure out how to work the air conditioner.  Finally after repeatedly jumping out of bed I tried the green button on some transformer-looking box and that did it.  It would have been a long night if I hadn't figured out the air con.